Why should you learn to meet and attract women out in public, instead of swiping on a dating app? Let’s go through the advantages. First of all, to be successful in the dating ‘arena’ (it’s a competitive endeavour), you must have value in the eyes of women. What constitutes value? For men, your sexual market value (SMV) is determined by physical appearance (facial symmetry, height, build), charisma, social status and money. As a man, you can max out in these different areas, focusing on each as much as you want.

Think of it like you’re a character in a fighting video game. One character may have more punching power, but is big and moves slowly. Another character might be light and nimble, and can evade their opponent, but throws a weaker punch. They’ll have different attributes, and they’ll compensate for a deficit in one area by being more remarkable in another area. This is a useful metaphor for explaining how to maximize your SMV.


The Limitations of Dating Apps

As a woman sits swiping through potential ‘matches’ on dating apps, all she really has to go on is the attribute physical appearance. Yes, you could write a clever bio, but realistically she may not even read it. Not unless she stops by the store window (your pic), instead of walking past, to use another metaphor. You might be thinking that an attractive woman won’t want to talk to you if you approach her on the street. You might feel you don’t measure up appearance wise. However (and here’s the crucial difference), now you’ve actually got her attention.

The book cover may not be something that would make her buy from a website, but inside a physical store, with a charismatic store worker reading from the book live, it’s a different story. She’ll take in what’s being said and make a more informed decision. She’ll stop and consider a book that she would otherwise not have given a second thought to. People (and women) are psychologically malleable and respond to persuasion.

At the time of writing this, there are seven or eight men for every woman on the most popular dating app on the market (you probably know which one). Of these men, all of the women are hoping to match with the top twenty percent of men. Unsurprisingly, on a dating app where the dominant attribute is physical appearance, this means that the best-looking men are being chosen. So, if you don’t measure up to the looks of the top twenty percent, you’ll get a warped sense of your own SMV, because the app basically only takes into account your physical appearance.

Many men have the misconception that all women must be on dating apps, because ‘all men’ are on dating apps. Actually, a large proportion of women don’t use dating apps at all - many high value, beautiful women. These ladies have enough prospects through social circles and other avenues, and it’s a blow to many women’s egos to suggest that they would need to install a dating app to meet men (80 percent of these men wouldn’t even be considered ‘good enough’).

Another common misconception is that if a woman ‘matches’ with you on an app, and you organize a date, she’s 100% attracted to you and it’s ‘in the bag.’ Oh, so wrong. You’ll still need to meet up in person, and you’ll still need to deliver some charisma and social skills. You don’t just turn up and say ‘here I am.’

On top of this, women are using image manipulation apps to change the appearance and proportions of their face and body (they’re well aware of SMV). Not all women do this, of course (and some men do it). The point is, there is a lot of false advertising on dating apps.

There are countless online articles on how dating apps are making women unhappy. There are whole forums and websites run by embittered men who are obsessed with ‘women’s shallowness.’ Many of these men have the laughable, and simultaneously tragic, view that unless you’re a two-meter tall, jacked ‘Chad’ or ‘Tyrone’ with perfect bone structure and face, you can’t get any woman.


The Value of Face to Face Interactions

On the street, in bars, or anywhere in public, you’ll find women. Beautiful, high value women. What you see is what you get. There are no filter apps, Photoshop and false advertising. Your blood will boil with attraction in a way that no 2D photograph of a woman can make you feel. She can’t get this feeling from a piece of plastic with electrical signals passing beneath it either. Human beings are designed for face-to-face, direct communication.

When a man is charismatic, confident, and puts his best foot forward, a woman can become attracted to him. This may happen even if she wasn’t fully convinced by the book cover (the guy) at first. Women are EMOTIONAL creatures and respond to the way a man makes them FEEL. Men often forget this! This is why books like Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus exist. Most men don’t understand most women. ‘All women care about is looks’ is a cop-out, and reveals a black and white naivete (and probably lack of self-esteem).