Face-to-face cold approach is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). You can overcome your fear of flirting with women. It's similar to how people can overcome their fear of spiders through conscious effort and exposure. However, when is this highly effective activity not enough to see results? When should you seek advice from a professional psychologist?

If you've been approaching women for an extended period of time, without seeing results, then you may want to seek out a psychologist. Maybe you've been coached by one or more reputable dating coaches. Maybe you've been taking action for months or years after initial coaching, but you're unable to progress and succeed. Unable to get the results you want. If so, there may be deeper issues holding you back. You may have issues such as self-sabotage, avoidant behavior, narcissism, etc.

I don't want to give prescriptive advice. However, when seeking out a psychologist, I would consider doing 3 things:

1. Talk to a man, not a woman. A man can provide a man's perspective when it comes to inter sexual stuff. Women are wired differently and may not be able to fully understand how men think. A simple example of this: a woman won't know what it's like to have 15 times more circulating testosterone. If you'd been a sports athlete seeking advice on sports-related issues, a female psychologist may have been fine (this has nothing to do with anti-feminism).

2. Write down your goals for the next 12 months. Be as clear and detailed as possible. For example: I want to have a girlfriend who is between X and X years old. We will have regular sex. Make sure you can clearly visualize this. A psychologist with experience of visualization and setting goals/achieving would be helpful. He may have helped athletes in the past.

3. When you talk to the psychologist, delve into what's been holding you back. For example, self sabotage: cognitively understanding what needs to be done vs not doing it. Explore childhood up until now, to get an overall picture of possible underlying issues. Some guys believe what they have to offer - themselves - isn't good enough. External value (material offerings) vs internal value.

Try to get a clinical diagnosis (really just what your main issues are). Perhaps you exhibit avoidant behavior. Get tips on how to achieve your – clearly set out – goals. Any psychologist who doesn't ask why and what you want out of this should be binned. From what I've heard from former athletes you may have to try out different psychologists to see which one you click with. This is because you will build a relationship with the psychologist and there must be trust.

Therapy sessions should be attended in parallel with approaching women. Just as an athlete still competes while working on their mental fortitude. In rare cases you may have to start with therapy before you do the approaching women part. It's important to note that unless you have a severe case of depression and, or anxiety (which a psychologist may prescribe medication for) it is useful to take action. This is because it's important to face underlying issues head on. If your lack of dating options is making you sad, then the solution has to be to remedy this by taking action in the real world. Discuss what the appropriate course of action is with your psychologist. Be open about what you want out of your dating life, and life in general. He'll listen to you and offer solutions.

The thing with mental blocks and issues is that they can create counterproductive patterns of behavior. You may act in an irrational way to avoid doing something that threatens your ego, sense of self, etc. Your sense of reality may be warped. If you're the kind of guy who's been coached by five of the top coaches in the industry, and you're not progressing, then the answer is not to hire a sixth coach.

Coach number six won't know what your pattern of behavior has been like, and will treat you like a regular beginner. You'll feel comfortable since now you don't have to worry about threats to your ego, etc. You'll be back in your comfort zone, doing the same beginner exercise drills that you've done hundreds of times before. You have to catch yourself out here.

There are good people out there who can help you. If you feel lost or stuck, then talk to a psychologist. I urge you.