How does an advanced, experienced guy differ from a newbie? An advanced guy will filter, steer the interaction instinctively and make higher judgment calls. For example, are he and the woman compatible personality-wise? Is he opening her up effectively on a subconscious arousal level, as well as on an inter personal rapport level? In other words, an experienced guy will quickly figure out if there is chemistry. He'll be time efficient.

A newbie might practice telling women three things about himself, to ground the interaction (make it 'real'). This will typically come after he's gotten her to open up about herself. An advanced guy will think more in terms of relating to the woman as she shares info. If he relates what she's just told him about her life, to his own life, he'll unavoidably share something about himself.

A woman won't go home thinking 'I don't know who that guy even is' if she can feel there was rapport. This is one example of how free-flowing, natural conversations result from discarding the training wheels, while adhering to the underlying core principles of flirtation. Here's an example of this:

Her: I'm half Korean, half Norwegian.
Him: Oh right, can you cook Korean food then?
Her: No, my mother was adopted from Korea. She can't cook Korean food. I never learned.
Him: Ah, that's a shame. * smirks playfully * When I lived in Japan, I was obsessed with all Asian food.
Her: You lived in Japan?
Him: Yeah, lived there for six months for work. I have quite a mysterious, international job.
Her: Oh, exciting. A foreign correspondent?
Him: I'm a spy, actually. Ssh, don't tell anyone.
Her: Hahaha. But really, what? Where else have you lived?

Do you see how the above interaction is interactive, and both are sharing info? Did you spot the guy's subtle qualification and tease after he got her nationality. As you're having a conversation like this in real time, it's important to simultaneously be steering the conversation in a certain direction. Advanced guys are experts at doing this. It's a skill that takes conscious practice for a beginner. For a woman talking to a beginner, it's not always clear what the guy wants and the interaction starts off in comfort, with no clear flirtatious undertones. That's why a structural framework exists – a beginner's road map. Here's my version of it:




For an experienced guy, it's fairly predictable which women will want to come out on a date. He'll keep a finger on the pulse of an interaction, and make a subconscious call regarding attraction. Solid attraction often means that the interaction 'takes care of itself.' A woman might ask questions, and help out in the interaction. Call it 'natural rapport.' At various decision nodes, a guy must ask himself whether the woman is interested or not. Of course, if a woman doesn't say much in the beginning, the guy shouldn't give up too easily. However, with enough experience you develop gut feel regarding these things.

Think of it in terms of sport. A pro will have drilled exercises, and in a live game will improvise and play on instinct. They will also play to their strengths (strength, speed etc). They will have their own personality, style and execution. A pro is self-aware. A beginner will commonly start off by trying to copy their favorite players, until they reach a more advanced level.

An advanced guy focuses primarily on the bigger picture. It's a case of unconscious competence. Is this woman adventurous? What's her personality blueprint? What's her availability and interest level? He'll calibrate to the individual standing in front of him.

A beginner may treat all women the same, regardless of the signs and signals she's giving. He just wants to talk to a pretty woman without being 'rejected.' An experienced guy qualifies women and does it with sincerity. He'll filter for characteristics that he knows he likes in women, besides common beauty. He's happy to tell a pretty woman to have a nice day and walk away if he's not fully satisfied with her.

Experience gives you gut feel. Inability to read and respond to a woman is like a clumsy bad touch in football (soccer) but it can be improved. A coach can provide the tools and exercises to help you succeed, but one has to learn by doing. By internalizing. The actions become part of your motor response. You develop new behaviors. Your new behaviors make you more attractive to women.