(continued from pt. 1)

In pt. 1 I pointed out how fast-learning students usually have a track record of mental fortitude. They usually already have sound basic social skills when starting out in cold approach. What else makes some guys learn fast, relative to others?

Guys who've previously done night game (cold approach in bars and clubs) have a few advantages. The nature of night time venues means that women come and go. They can be fickle and unpredictable at times in such environments. It is because of the environment. For example, a woman's friend might come and interrupt and, or lead her away. The music might suddenly start playing too loudly, and a woman's attention is diverted. Many things can happen.

Out of necessity, night game guys develop an easy come, easy go attitude. Guys who have not spoken to women in night time venues will commonly lack this mindset. This leads to treating every interaction during the daytime as overly precious. The worst frame to have is to be 'keeping score.' It's not 1-0 to woman-kind if a woman couldn't – or didn't want to – keep talking to you. Accept that women can be fickle creatures.

Women can SENSE if a guy is non-needy. Unsurprisingly, being laid back, and take-it-or-leave-it is more attractive to women than score-keeping. Social momentum building comes easier if there is less of a lull between interactions. A 'mini defeat' mindset (keeping score) commonly creates unnecessary problems for guys who lack night game experience.

Guys who come into daygame, having done night game, have other advantages too. Night game guys are good at blurring the line between socializing time and flirting time (again, who's keeping score?). Being able to reset fast between interactions is a skill that can be developed fast in bars.

In a bar, there could be two women standing together. They may be polite to you, without showing any signs of attraction. Then, a third woman may come in and join her two friends. Maybe this newcomer gives you an indicator of interest. Maybe you hit it off with the new woman. In less time than it takes to say 'I must suck,' the previous two women are forgotten...

An important skill that can be honed quickly in bars is showing intent (and acting quickly). In the night time, women may have been warmed up earlier in the night. They may have talked to, or checked out guys while sipping alcohol. They may be in a naturally open, flirtatious frame of mind. Talking to such women provides invaluable, rapid experience of visceral, sexually charged flirting.

Here's a visual: you've got ten golf balls all teed up at a driving range, ready for you to hit. This is different to walking around an entire golf course, potentially waiting a long time between each strike (the bar's the driving range, in case that was unclear).

Social momentum can be a big deal in daytime flirting. If you allow yourself to get stuck in your head by not taking action, then you'll only make things harder. Whereas the guys hitting on multiple women in the nighttime create an upward spiral, inaction during the daytime can have the opposite effect.

So what do you do if you've never competed in anything, and you haven't done much (if any) night game? Maybe your basic social skills are questionable. How do you make up for all of this? Well, for one, you are going to have to work hard. You'll have to work MUCH HARDER than the fast-learners (for all of the reasons mentioned). You may have to develop general mental fortitude through cold approach. This can be done, but you'll have to step up to the task. You'll have to be patient and discard any potential ego issues. You'll have to work on your humility and mental fortitude.

Here are some final pointers:

  1. Take responsibility for your own situation. Do NOT blame anybody or anything external. You have agency. Your coach is not responsible for you doing the work. YOU are.
  2. Work on becoming more adventurous in life in general. Travel, go scuba diving, go paragliding, climb to great heights. Do whatever you want to do, as long as it pushes you out of your comfort zone. It will help develop mental fortitude.
  3. LISTEN to what your dating coach tells you. At the very least, TRY the exercises he gives you. He'll ask you to do exercises for a reason. If you were a white belt at a dojo, you would listen to your Sensei (mentor). At least, you'd listen if you were ambitious about actually improving. If you listen and work hard, there's no reason why you can't climb the ranks. Who knows... one day you may even become a black belt yourself.